Come to the convention in exciting Des Moines!

I've never understood why trade shows and conventions are always in glamorous big cities like New York, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. It would be more productive (and a lot cheaper) to go to Des Moines, Iowa, or Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

It may sound exciting to spend a week in New York or Las Vegas, but here's what really happens:

You arrive at a huge airport, and it takes an hour to get your luggage, because you've checked two suitcases full of brochures, samples, and giveaways. Then, it takes another 45 minutes to catch a cab to the hotel, and an hour (and $30) to get to the hotel.

Once at the hotel, you basically don't leave for four days. Sure, you can see the lights of Times Square from your hotel room, but you can't actually take in a Broadway show because you're busy setting up your booth, or a box of brochures went missing, or you're in your room stuffing CDs into jewel cases.

All your meals are at the hotel (with clients and prospects), that is, when you're not manning the booth on the show floor.

Then, at the end, you pack everything up, ship it home via UPS or in your luggage, and leave for the airport four hours before the departure time because of traffic and this is LaGuardia where they don't let anyone within a mile of the airport without a full body search.

The hotel costs $200/night, and the elevators don't work. Plan on at least $25 per person per meal; more if you want anything to drink other than water. The locals are indifferent at best, and hostile at worst. There are five other conventions going on in the same hotel at the same time, so you're constantly trying to figure out if the guy on the elevator next to you is someone you care about. Logo shirt == Strike up a conversation. Yamika == Probably a different convention.

Compare this to Champaign, Illinois.

Getting through the airport is a breeze, since there's only five gates, and your bags are waiting when you get off. Cab ride costs $5, and takes less than ten minutes. The hotel is $59/night, and breakfast is included. You don't care about the city itself, since you never actually leave the hotel during the convention, but the locals are all friendly, and you're the only group in town. Then, on the last day, you check out of the hotel 30 minutes before your flight leaves, and Bob, the security guard, holds up the plane for you if you're late, since he's also the guy who loads the cargo hold.